Resolutions

I have never been much of a New Years resolution kind of a girl. I have been quite against them.  I generally think it's like setting yourself up for failure.  So many people make these grand statements and it so rarely sticks. Although (hangs head) I will admit that I have had the odd year where on like December 28th I will make some resolutions. You know because then it's not technically a New Years thing. It was a goal set on just a random day, obviously making it more likely to be achieved. 

This has not worked…ever…

But this year I feel a bit of an urge to make some goals for myself. I feel really excited and energized heading into a new year. I have so many new things on the go, I have two amazing girlies, a great husband and just all around feeling pretty good about where we are at.  Sure I would love to one day sleep again (that's another blog for another day) but all in all we are doing pretty fantastic. 

One of the biggest things I really want to do is put in more time to the things I love. Photography and writing being at the top of the list (after time with my kids, obviously).  Mostly I realized while really struggling through PPD that I never felt like I hit my stride on my own. I fell easily into being a mom and love the job. But through my teens and young 20's I feel like I wasted a lot of time. I never threw myself into anything. And since becoming a Mom I haven't had a whole lot of time to do it.  I realized this Christmas was my 4th in a row either being pregnant or nursing.  

So, come the end of January I will be done nursing Elise and I am quite excited at some of the time that will open up. It will allow for me to do a lot more in the evenings (with Ben's help).  This break is also a test to see if I get to the point of feeling really ready for baby #3. Ben was ready like three days after Elise was born (ok maybe not quite that fast).  

Anyways I am rambling. I wish you all a very Happy New Year. And encourage you to make some resolutions…just not on the 31st those ones are doomed to fail. Make them on, like, the 2nd!

Merry Christmas!

I sadly don't have a Christmas prep story this year. We went about all of our Christmas preparations without any big meltdowns. It's strange. We even set up our tree without a fight, for the first time…ever…. It almost feels like we forgot a step to Christmas. Like we left out a tradition. 

E and her Daddy

Yesterday we had our Wilson Christmas and it was great. The kids played hard and good. It's so weird to have all the kids starting to shift into this stage where we walk in the door and they leave your side to play and you don't really see them again until dinner. Aubs did really well and loved every minute of being with her cousins. On our drive home Elise fell asleep after a little complaining, Aubrey talked, and talked, and talked. She had to relive every moment until finally 5 minutes from home she talked herself to sleep. That is a sign of a good day!

Since having kids Christmas has changed so much for me. I have come to really really love the season. I used to enjoy it, sure. But it's so different with kids. Everything is magical. 

Santa sent Aubrey a video message to my email. We watched the video 10 times…in a row…before I finally had to convince her to do something else.  She tells everyone about the video. She is so in love with the idea of Christmas. I have made the mistake of leaving her and her Daddy to their own and keep coming home to more and more 'sparkles' on my house. In truth it's getting out of hand. They just bought another 3 sets.  But every time we round the corner to come home and she sees the yard lit up, it's like she is seeing it for the first time. It seriously melts me every time.  She is also fond of calling everything her 'Christmas'. For example she catches falling snow in her hands and says "I'm gonna eat my Christmas!" It's awesome. 

tasting a little Christmas!

Elise is at a neat age. She loves seeing the decorations and lights. She has discovered ways to get under the tree and has ripped a few bows off presents.  I can't wait for next year when she is even older and her and Aubrey can share in the magic even more. 

Well I am off to get ready for more Christmas activity. 

Wishing you all a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

A time for prayers

Not unlike everyone else I have been so heartbroken for the all the people involved in the tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary school. I can't even fathom what kind of emotion the people who lost family members must being going through. And in blunt honesty I try not to let myself imagine, I fear just being completely swallowed by a tragedy so enormous.  Reading different articles, seeing Facebook posts, and a quick 10 minute run of the news has got me thinking of so many things.

One big thing being - How do we put a stop to such mass violence? What an overwhelming question. I honestly don't know how any person could possibly answer that. Or where you could begin to truly make an impact. Where is the starting point?

This came across my screen tonight a statement from Morgan Freeman-

“You want to know why {these shootings keep happening}. This may sound cynical, but here’s why.It’s because of the way the media reports it. Flip on the news and watch how we treat the Batman theater shooter and the Oregon mall shooter like celebrities. Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris are household names, but do you know the name of a single victim of Columbine? Disturbed people who would otherwise just off themselves in their basements see the news and want to top it by doing something worse, and going out in a memorable way. Why a grade school? Why children? Because he’ll be remembered as a horrible monster, instead of a sad nobody.
CNN’s article says that if the body count “holds up”, this will rank as the second deadliest shooting behind Virginia Tech, as if statistics somehow make one shooting worse than another. Then they post a video interview of third-graders for all the details of what they saw and heard while the shootings were happening. Fox News has plastered the killer’s face on all their reports for hours. Any articles or news stories yet that focus on the victims and ignore the killer’s identity? None that I've seen yet. Because they don’t sell. So congratulations, sensationalist media, you've just lit the fire for someone to top this and knock off a day care center or a maternity ward next.
You can help by forgetting you ever read this man's name, and remembering the name of at least one victim. You can help by donating to mental health research instead of pointing to gun control as the problem. You can help by turning off the news."

He really got me thinking. And he is so right in that it is a rare day when past shootings are talked about that you hear much of the victims. The shooters are made into a form of celebrity.

One of the other things that I really thought about today was the enormous impact this would have on the shooters family as well. In honesty I don't think I had ever thought too much about a shooters family before and how heartbreaking this would be for them to have to live through the pain of his acts.  I was blown away to see one of the victims fathers say in reference to the shooters family "I can't imagine how hard this experience must be for you"

What an amazing thing to say. I was so impacted by the grace of that father.

I find it hard to write the right words to get across what I think or feel, so instead I am stealing someone else's thoughts. These were my Mom's words in response to yesterday.

It is through children’s eyes that we often see ourselves in ways we had not intended. Our responses to conflict and tragedy may be the only tools they have to learn how to live in relationship. Making sense of the tragedy in Connecticut is not possible. My heart aches for the families who lost their precious little ones and I pray that the rest of us honor their lives by living as we were intended to - with love.

A Tale of The...Handy Woman...

You know how people have like big hate on's for places like WalMart, you know big box stores?  Well I for the most part tend to be indifferent.  I Like shopping local when I can, but will readily admit I have shopped at said big box stores.  There is one though…one that shall remain my most hated place EVER….duh duh duhhhhh(insert dramatic music).   Cliff hanger moment right? It seems the most common one ever mentioned is WalMart. For me it will forever and always be…

IKEA!

I hate that place. And this last weekend reconfirmed my hatred for it. 

I would love to now dive into all the deep conversation that usually comes along with conversation about box stores. I'm gonna skip that one cause it has nothing to do with my hatred. 

My first point of contention with 'the place that shall not be named' is the buildings. DO you  know that when you stand still on the top floor you can feel its movement. There is a steady up and down motion. People used to laugh at me until I pointed it out and they actually stood there and felt it! It irritates me to no end. 

Next I shall paint you a little picture of my 'productive' day yesterday.  The girls and i got moving, made beds, folded some laundry, I put E down for a nap and decided to tackle our new IKEA purchase.  See we needed some storage for toys and such out in our living area. It was beginning to fall victim the the girls and there adventures.  

Monday 

10:00am - I finished my laundry and looked around the room seeing all of the boxes for this new storage unit. I feel slightly irritated it's taking up the whole living room. So I think "Hey I don't need Ben I'LL put it together" (mistake #1) 

10:20 - Elise is down for a nap. Perfect timing I drag the largest box which contains the frame onto the floor.  I rip it open with purpose. After all I am a woman who can get things done.  Feeling pretty smug. Especially since Ben is happily working away in the basement and has no idea what is going on. I chuckle to myself feeling so sneaky and brilliant. 

10:30 - Instructions are anyones best friend. Yes they are. Except I am a little puzzled as to why IKEA has chosen to cheap out and not print words. They just use big block arrows.  Whatevs I am good at figuring this stuff out who needs words. 

10:40 - Just about have the whole frame done. But I run into my first snag.  I need another adult (sorry Aubs) to help lift it while I slide in the backing. SO I begrudgingly call Ben up. He looks surprised but helps me out. Then he tries to stay with me and finish it. I go into a long speech how I can obviously handle it AND I just want to help him out so he can focus on his work. He shrugs and heads downstairs. 

11:00 - So I thought by this point I would be near done. Not so much. Next I am onto putting together drawers. The actual drawer itself is pretty easy peasy. The tracking….different story.  This is where the swearing commences.

11:20 - I am begging with the tool gods to please stop stripping the screws so my job is easier. 

11:40 - Stupid effin screws

12:00 - Ben is upstairs I am laying on the floor (with Aubrey petting my head telling me it will be ok).  I explain to Ben that I am considering throwing the stupid thing in the driveway and running it over. This seems like a logical way to handle things.  Ben begs me to let him help. Obviously I refuse. Because now it's personal. It's like IKEA is trying to one up me.

12:30 - Ben gently explains that maybe I have the wrong sized screw driver and if I use a different one the screws won't strip.  I glare at him and tell HIm I obviously know how to pick the right tools. 

12:40 - I sneak downstairs to get a different better fitting screw driver.

1:00 - One drawer is successfully in. 

1:10 - I whip together the second drawer. Feeling feisty again. I am seasoned now. I KNOW how to do this. 

1:25 - Big smile on my face, nodding my head in approval as I slide my second drawer into place….*thud*…what the…*thud*. I look down to see why it won't close. F*ck!  I followed the instructions for the first one not the second. I placed the entire thing too low so it would smash into the first drawer…Seriously WHY NO WORDS ON THE INSTRUCTIONS…IDIOTS!!!

1:30 - laying on the floor contemplating all IKEA's being banned from the world. And how I could make it happen. 

1:35 - I sadly call Ben up to take a look. Bless him he doesn't laugh. How he doesn't is beyond me. 

1:45 - I am thanking the sleep Gods. Elise is ready for nap #2. Ben tells me to head to put her to sleep and he will start helping fix.

2:10 - I creep out of the bedroom (even though Elise has already been asleep for 15 minutes) to find a finished storage unit. 

I love my husband. I hate IKEA.